9 months

So finally little Peanut has lived in the outside world as long as he lived in my womb.  That is some really crazy perspective.

He's currently fighting a throat infection, and though he has been better yesterday and today,  he's still on antibiotics (or,  more like back on antibiotics,  since he finished the prescribed period but the symptoms persist so the doctor said to continue a few more days).  It has been a very difficult week,  though in general I feel like January was a bit better.  This week was marked by bouts of vomiting,  fever,  screaming and crying while we gave him dose after dose of medicines and a really exhausted household.

This week also marks my return to the MBA.  I am terrified because I have very little free time for homework,  so even though it's all virtual,  or maybe because it is,  it is really hard to dedicate six or eight hours a week to it.  I am struggling because when I'm home with the husband and the baby there is really not a way to disengage from them.

I made a resolution this week to talk people around me up,  instead of complaining about them (this week was heavy on the complaining side), but I struggle with the level of shared responsibility for the baby with Cookie.  Doing homework (or more like,  trying and failing)  for the master is just one symptom of the problem.  I don't know how to breach the subject without having an open war,  but I think I'm reaching the point that if it takes a full blown ugly argument  to touch the subject,  I'll have a full blown ugly argument.  I know I tend to blame other people and be angry with them when things don't go as I planned them,  when in reality I am also to blame and most things cannot be planned or expected to go as one wishes,  so I reaaaally need to work on that because it's a very ugly trait of mine.

So.  Talking up.  Not blaming (even if it's done 90% just in my head).  Add those to my 2016 list,  along with having a meatless dinner a week (this week is was fried rice with veggies,  last week it was veggie chow mein! I am looking for more suggestions/ideas!) and cooking more.  Since I got pregnant and most of last year I really pushed the envelope on eating out because no time,  cooking making me nauseous,  etc,  but it's hurting our budget.  I am trying to get back on track on the budgeting and better financial organization as well.  So far...  Uhh. Well,  as soon as I finish paying my car insurance I'll be debt free,  and ready to start saving again.  Last year I didn't meet my savings mark because I went crazy on December.  Between Christmas presents and impulse buys and paying bonuses for my eventual employees (some of them,  like our cleaning lady and my first mason at work not really eventual at all)  it got really out of hand.

We also had a few things to pay for that hit me this month,  one of them our water pump breaking and needing to be entirely replaced (waaah!)  and the yearly house taxes and the car yearly service.  On the good news,  I finished Ms.  T's house renovation and I am mostly done with a facade project. The project that was stressing me out the most kind of fell through the cracks and the client never contacted me again.  I think we are even?  The first payment does cover what I did, pretty much,  so.   I am not worrying about it anymore.

On the work department there are some new projects on the horizon.  Tomorrow me and Pam are meeting a client for whom we made an interior design proposal and budget last week.  Cris and David's house addition,  which I started on December,  is going a bit slowly,  but it's going well,  so I'm hoping February shows some mayor advances there.  Currently we have all the columns and the iron structure for the major beams of the first floor,  which I hope we can pour  next weekend.  So by the end of next month I hope we'll be working on the second floor's roof.

Eli's achievements are many!  I haven't weighted or measured him this month,  but he can cruise around the playpen,  stand up supporting himself, and kinda scoot backwards when he tries to crawl.  Crawling is his bane!  He can't get his head around it.  But he claps and says 'mama' and 'apa'  and feeds himself and signs milk and more,  he waves bye bye,  gives many hugs and kisses,  and loves pandas so much.  He points where the panda is on one of his books and loves to touch and look at the box of Takenoko. I am currently trying to teach him the signs for mom,  dad,  grandma,  grandpa, sleep,  cookie,  bath,  all done,  diaper change,  eat and thirsty.  He..  Doesn't seem to give a damn! But maybe soon?

On the sleep front,  we're still bedsharing and he's still waking up multiple times a night to feed.  It's hard,  but this week while he was sick he would only take the breast,  and then for a day and a half he wouldn't even breastfeed much,  he felt so sick,  that I am very grateful that he's feeling better enough to wake up to eat.  I know he will eventually demand less milk,  even if right now it feels like he's the only 9 month old that doesn't sleep a long stretch at night.  I have been trying to coach my sister in law,  who had a failed breastfeeding relationship with her son 7 years ago,  with her new baby.  Her pediatrician  is not supportive at all and this causes her plenty of confusion and anxiety.  My other sister in law's sister also gave birth this month  and I gave some more successful advice to her,  so that makes me happy!  I am still halfway through the breastfeeding online certification class I started months ago,  but a lot of the initial problems with breastfeeding come from un supportive pediatricians or family.  My brother's wife also had a baby girl this month  (so many babies!) but her previous experience was mostly successful,  so we talk about it a lot,   and it's nice to have that to bond over,  since we aren't super close. I am currently That Crazy Breastfeeding Lady, I know.

The baby is asleep to I will return to homework for as long as it lasts!  I can do this!  12 more weeks to go!

High hopes

I'm feeling much better than at the end of 2015 these days.  Though I'm really tired I feel like I'm coping a bit better with my anxiety.

This week I signed back on the MBA.  I have six credits left (out of sixteen!) SO I really think my if I can stick to it I can finish it this year.  It's been six years since I started it,  I feel pretty embarrassed!  When I first started I only did two classes,  then started a four year hiatus as I started freelancing,  then met Cookie,  then married.  Two year ago I returned, and was progressing well,  then took another break when baby Peanut was born and I returned to school.  I didn't feel like I could manage the MBA on top of that,  but now that I'm not teaching anymore...  I am very nervous out,  I hope I can manage.  It's all online,  so in theory I have a chance of doing in it my "own" time.  I don't feel like a own a lot of time right now,  though! Hopefully Cookie will step up and help me more with the baby on weekends so I can do homework.

I don't particularly need the MBA for my work,  so mostly this is a time investment  for when I return to teach,  in what
Cookie and I estimate will be five to ten years.  A lot will obviously change in that time!  But I need the grade for teaching in most schools,  and right now I had managed that by being on the program and having an estimated date to finishing it.  So having the grade will be an asset,  come what may.

I also really want to finish it because my father is retiring this year.  Because he works at the University this is probably the last year I can get a scholarship.  Another reason to be embarrassed for not finishing sooner!  Without the scholarship it would be a bit difficult for me to pay for it.  I suppose I just kept letting life get in the way and being complacent,  but I have a serious deadline now.