One day closer to still not being done

The pergola at K's house got delayed again, but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping tomorrow will be the day. Today they were running late and I had to leave the keys to my partner, who couldn't meet them when they were finally ready and they didn't want to wait for her for an hour, so they rescheduled the installation for tomorrow.

The electrician fiiiinally made it to L's backyard, the other unfinished renovation, but after taking a look at the light s
witch a drizzle started to fall, so he rescheduled for tomorrow as well.

No one showed up at H&C's entryway construction today. It happens some mondays.

I did manage to prepare class and make it to my classes, so at least that's something! 9 more weeks! I am dreading informing both schools that I won't be returning next semester. I know the Design school will be short of teachers next January, so I think they expected me to take on more classes, not to step down, but I don't think my mind is in the right place right now for teaching.

I don't feel patient or inspiring, I don't feel particularly passionate about my classes or my job. I don't have much time to prepare classes or grade. And the running around trying to make it to the campuses at a set time regardless of the baby or whatever disaster of the week crops at the construction is driving me crazy.  I will miss some things, some of my students and the joy of talking about the subjects I really like. I love learning new things and passing them on. I love helping students when they are feeling low or conflicted. I will miss the academic feel, the contrast of the mental and emotional challenge of teaching with the physicial and practical challenge of construction. And I will miss the steady pay, the call of the siren for the freelancer in this unsteady economy.

I was very sad last December when I figured out I would not be hired in January because of my upcoming due date. I mourned the loss of that aspect of me, unsure if they would rehire me this Summer. It never crossed my mind that coming back was a mistake. The set is over and I'm half heartedly singing an encore. I hope I'll have a chance to teach again in the future, but for now I'm ready for the semester to be over.