Sad and worried

This has been a very difficult week for people I love dearly. Monday we had a national holiday so Cookie stayed home and I only worked half a day at the renovations, and no school.

Tuesday I found out my best friend had been through emergency surgery. She texted me and said, "So, I was two months pregnant..."

Was.

It broke my heart. I can't put myself in her shoes, I cannot imagine the fear and the sadness. Everything happened so fast, it was so scary. She was bleeding and they got to the doctor, discovered it was an ectopic pregnancy, and had the tube removed in an emergency surgery, apparently minutes away from a ruptured tube. I am so sad for her loss. Thankfully she's recovering well.

On Wednesday another friend, one of the few people I befriended at school, had an aneurism. It's very serious and still touch and go. She's young and always seemed so healthy, such a happy and positive, sweet and relaxed person. She has an 9 month old baby boy and a 4 year old daughter. I am sick with worry and sadness, I hope, I pray, that she recovers.

I had not prayed in a long time, my relationship with God being very complicated. When we married by the church I promised myself I would try for real, not just to get it done. I tried for a while but... It's hard to be a catholic when you are more liberal minded. I keep falling off the wagon. But I've been trying again, lately (mostly because if we are baptizing baby Peanut I don't want to do it just to get it done, I wish I could really believe), and so, here I am.

I pray my friend recovers. Her family needs her so much. The world needs more people like her, good and joyful people. More, not less. Her baby needs her so much. I cannot imagine.

I pray my best friend recovers quickly, that God gives her strenght and love to deal with her loss, that she is able to have more children if she so wishes.

I pray for the sick, for my pregnant friends and family, for my family, for myself. I don't know if it's hypocrisy, to fall back into prayer when things get hard, I suppose it is.

I don't really know what else I can do.